It sounds ridiculous. It sounds like a line from a fiction.  Unfortunately, this is real life.  This. Is. Real. _(adjective)__. Life.

“If you don’t manage it, it will manage you.”

This could be said of many aspects of life, but for me, it was first declared when I was declared bipolar-yet another victim of genetics and circumstance.  The environment I had lived in won, and no amount of nurturing could undo, outsmart or prevent my nature from coming through.  This isn’t always the case for those of us diagnosed with mental disorders.

However, having good “mental health” is not entirely objective.  Many ingredients go into that pot of a healthy psyche, brain and sense of self-potential.

We can explore some cultural and clinical definitions of mental health:  the World Health Organization defines it as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”1 (“Toward a new definition of mental health”)  However, different cultures will value different abilities, different contributions and consider different things stressful or not.   “Cultural anthropology teaches us that almost every form of behavior is considered healthy in some cultures, but that does not mean that the tolerated behavior is mentally healthy…The salience of a given facet of…mental health, may vary from culture to culture, but all facets are important.”2 (“Positive mental health: is there a cross-cultural definition?”)

So, speaking from my own experience the definition of mental health gets divided into two camps: First, being mentally strong keeps me mentally positive and in “good health”, and second, being mentally weak keeps me mentally negative and in “poor health”.  That might not seem like any giant revelation, but like most ideas that are simple, understanding and execution are different tasks.

To dive into this complex realm, I will be sharing a series of posts with you about my experience with mental health.  It will include personal stories, medical diagnoses and plans, as well as third-party information I have found helpful.   The key to having “good” mental health is balance.  Balance between good days and bad days, strength and weakness, self-assessment and self-criticism and some days, just walking on two feet down my path.

One of the first things told to me by my diagnosing physician was to “manage” my condition.  “If you don’t manage it, it will manage you,” he stated.  And suddenly my “bi-polar diagnosis” became this giant ugly second head that I had to keep in line.  Can’t say the wrong thing.  Can’t do the wrong thing.  Everyone will think I am crazy!  Everyone will disregard me, discount my contributions and efforts and I will be irrelevant.  So it became like this vessel for all my fears for the future, relationships, goals and aspirations and I spent years with this thing in the back of my mind constantly at bay, waiting to break loose and wreck havoc on my life at any minute.

And yes, all that happened.  But this will happen to you along your journey—whether or not you have mental illness or a mental health diagnosis.  I have been disregarded for being a woman.  I have been discounted for being an older student. For being in a religious minority.  For having the wrong skin color. And for being diagnosed bipolar with anxiety and ADHD.

So what do you do?  What did I do? Well, I got help.  Management is necessary, but just one aspect of what you have to do with the tools you will gain to thrive in your life despite your circumstances. I went to my therapist religiously.  I saw my psychiatrist religiously. I took my meds religiously.   And I did the best I could do to do what they told me to do.  It sucked a lot of the time, but it’s been worth it thus far.  I have not had to endure severe negative consequences of psychotic breaks or irrational behavior because I have done what my health professionals have told me.

I have also had the luxury of health insurance.  If you do not have health insurance with some kind of mental health/behavioral health option, seek out if your campus has a medical clinic and/or a counseling center.  These services are usually free for students.  And if you don’t get an official diagnosis, or if you don’t have one, it’s still ok to seek help.  Also, there are some providers who will help you with discounted rates, and you can also seek out your local government behavioral health services.  Finding out if you qualify can be overwhelming, but it’s ok to ask for help with that too.  The Internet has enormous amounts of information to help you and you can also go to your local government human services office.  They are paid by your tax dollars; they can at least get you pointed in the right direction.  Even if you have to pay co-pays or out of pocket, it’s worth it to get yourself grounded, balanced and confident of your mental health so that you can go where you want to go, do what you are working to do and achieve your dreams. And if you are in crisis, go to your local emergency room.  The professionals there will help you get help.

In my opinion, the greatest strength in the face of weakness, is to admit where we are weak, and work to strengthen those areas with the powerhouses of our selves—if you don’t have a lot of resilience, but are very patient, get help, and be patient with yourself as you practice/work on/pursue the things your therapist/medical professional tell you to do.  When I think of myself as strong, the following words and phrases come to mind:

·        Stubbornness

·        Resilience

·        Long-suffering

·        Fortitude

·        Patience

·        Confidence

·        Wisdom/open mind and perspective

·        Self-control

·        “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

·        Peace of Mind

·        Balanced energy levels in my mind, body and soul

I confess, I did not always have all this.  It has taken work, gentleness with myself, a lot of tears, toil and time to not only have a list of mental strengths, but to believe truly that these words embody my spirit, soul and psyche.

I come from a Christian background, so finding support in the Bible can be a rewardeing exercise for me.  Whatever your religious or philosophical background, explore its rituals, letters, ideas and tenants so that you are getting support for your situation.  Words are powerful and can encourage and edify you on your journey and pursuits.

I will close here today with this: My life is no longer reactionary to my environment and those around me.  I choose what I do. I own my emotions and my efforts. One of the greatest-yet simplest-tools I have come across to maintain balance is to exercise.  I still don’t do it as often as I want, but it has never failed my body, my brain or my battles.  I will discuss exercise more in-depth in my next post. If there are 2 things to leave you with, they are these: seek help, and exercise.  You will be empowered and will immediately feel good for doing something to nurture yourself.  

Congratulations, you are here, you are capable and you are AWESOME!

A laser is a tool that can make life better for everyone when focused correctly. When focused incorrectly, or with careless intent, however…

The same is true of your inner self—that part of you that dissects everything in your mind, that constantly talks things over with you, that says “Go get ‘em!” or “What the hell are you thinking?” If your inner-self is allowed to run buck-wild or is reigned in too tightly, you will find your inner-self will become your outer-self, and that is not good for you.